Back Again for the First Time

I’m not a big fan of the Olympics. As a geographer, I love the geographic aspect of 204 countries competing against one another and as an American exceptionalist, I certainly love that the United States has a thousand-medal, all-time advantage over the next closest country. I do find myself enjoying the swimming events primarily for the commentary of Rowdy Gaines, a true American. I really don’t care who wins qualifying fencing matches between Somali and Latvia. It does not turn my key to see women from Saudi Arabia shoot skeet. Generally, I could not give a darn about what Chinese badminton players do or don’t do. In fact, I had to look the word up to spell it properly. My interest is piqued by the Olympic badminton cheating scandal. For those of you who live under a rock but read this new blog, badminton doubles pairs from Indonesia, South Korea (x2), and the top-seeded team from China threw matches in order to secure more favorable pairings in the round-robin tournament. The top-seeded Chinese team stated they threw their match in order to avoid the second-seeded team, also from China. The IOC removed all offending teams from completion and kicked them out of the Olympic Village; kudos to the IOC. These athletes deserve to be thrown out on the curb. To borrow from the great philosopher Herm Edwards, “YOU PLAY TO WIN THE GAME.” Former Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis’ mantra was “Just win baby.” My high school basketball coach put it most politely “Just win and we don’t have to worry about anything else.” How can these women call themselves competitors? They are all-stars in the sport of lawyerball, nothing else. You don’t have to find sneaky ways to succeed if you are truly the best. Champions take all comers. Mike Tyson circa 1988 would have defended his titles simultaneously against multiple men in the ring if it had been allowed; Michael Jordan would not let his teammates go to bed until he beat them in poker; Ricky Bobby would either win or crash-and-burn trying. If you’re the best, prove it the old-fashioned way. One of the Chinese badminton players has bid adieu to her beloved sport. Billions of Asians care, alas, I do not.

The one and only Herm Edwards

Sidebar: round-robin tournaments stink. Poor format or not, there is never any reason to game the system if you are the best. The Australian Football League has the best playoff structure I have ever seen: AFL Grand Finals Series. Take a few minutes to take it in... Compound that fact with this: if there is a tie in regulation of the championship game, they replay the championship the next week. Imagine if that was the rule for Super Bowls. Class dismissed.