Rooster Cogburn's Coaching Candidates

As you already know, the University of Tennessee just fired Dwreck Derek Fooley Doolander Dooley after 3 years on the job.  His tenure was marked with growth off the field (VFL program, not recruiting thugs, getting players academically eligible) and tremendous decline on the field (4-20 in the SEC, 8 straight SEC loses, never beating Georgia, Florida or Alabama, losing Vanderbilt and Kentucky in back to back seasons, I could go on but....)  In short, a change was needed.  In a big way.  Winning seems like a distant memory. 

If given the opportunity, I would gladly perform the coaching search.  For free.  Because I'm a good guy.  In fact, I've already got a few men in mind that I believe would have immediately success.  Men with proven track records.  Men that get results.  Here are the top 5:

1.  Vince Lombardi--I mean, c'mon!  He has a trophy named after him!  He'd be perfect!
2.  Davy Crockett--loves Tennessee, doesn't go down without a fight.  I believe he could make a killing out on the (recruiting) trail.
3.  Ronald Reagan--great leader, great American, economical, takes no BS, played college football. 
4.  John Wooden--10 NCAA titles.  Sounds like a winner to me.
5.  General Neyland--bringing back a former coach seems to be a hot trend.  Kansas State did it and they are having great success. 

What's that you say?  All these guys are dead!? Oh.  Ok, I'll keep looking.  Here are the candidates to stay away from.

1.  Jim Mora--he thinks you should never talk about the playoffs.  And with BCS playoffs being instituted this it would put us behind the 8 ball.
2.  Anyone named Kiffin.  Not because one of them is really, really old and the other is a DB.  I just don't like that name. 
3.  Peyton Manning--Because he still has 4 more Super Bowls to win.
4.  Erwin Rommel--for obvious reasons
5.  Barbara Dooley--because that just might be kinda awkward. 


So let it be written, so let it be done.